Whatchya' Watchin?

That’s a tough question to answer these days. There are so many choices, who knows what to watch anymore? Many of us just skip around the channels watching fragments of shows. Thank the Lord for DVR’s, TIVO and hard drives. This way we can be sure to catch every single episode of whatever piece of crap program we happen to be following. Trust me, I don’t care what program it is or how much you like it, it’s a piece of crap. Why am I being so hostile to television? Because television is no different than any other addiction, it robs you of your ambition, creativity and personality.

I admit that I watch TV way too often. I tune in for many of the ridiculous shows and classic reruns like Seinfeld or Home Improvement, you name it. I will even reluctantly admit to being a Trekker but, although it’s crap, I do believe that Star Trek has a positive message. How many new shows have a positive message? I had trouble finding any, that weren’t made for little children, and even then they were just lame...

“Lost” was a great show, right? They kept us hooked for 6 seasons not knowing what the hell was going on. I guess the finale was positive, I really don’t know… Did they die and go to Heaven? Are they all still lost in purgatory somewhere? Who knows? Who cares anymore? Personally I wanted to see “Smokey” toss them all right into the ocean! How about “The Sopranos,” there’s another great depiction of the American dream! Let’s look at something more current, like “Dexter.” Now there’s a positive message, vigilantism! Don’t get me wrong, I love Dexter. I actually believe there is a positive message in there somewhere. In essence, that our legal system is corrupt and citizens should take the law into their own hands. I like it! Lord knows there is no justice in our legal system, it’s simply a negotiation tool for criminals. I’m not saying that I support the death penalty because I don’t, BUT if the government can’t keep murderers off the street, give the job to whoever can.
(WARNING! - TANGENT AHEAD).
Our government claims that they create lots of laws for our own safety, such as seat belt laws and helmet laws for children, but is anyone any safer with “big mother” watching? Statistics may show that these laws save lives (you can find statistics to back up just about anything) but should the government really be telling us that we MUST wear our seatbelt or else be fined? To me it seems like a convenient way to pull people over to check them out and give them a ticket. The helmet laws might save one kid from cracking his head open but many other kids are getting hurt in other ways because they never learn from their mistakes. It gives some kids a false sense of security because with that little piece of plastic on their head, they’re going to build a ramp and try to jump over some obstacle with no sense of the actual danger. If the kid had fallen off his bike when he was younger and banged his head on the ground, he would know better. Sure, nobody can say that helmets aren’t a smart precaution, I just question whether or not it should be a law? Now back to bashing television…

Have you noticed lately that programs are taking things to greater and greater extremes? Mostly I’m talking about those fake reality shows but it’s evident in most forms of programming from bullshit news shows to cooking challenges. I certainly don’t stand against freedom of speech but where does it all end? Have you noticed the food channels lately? The ingredients are getting weirder, the cakes are getting bigger and bigger and the food challenges are becoming more “cut-throat” than ever. They have shows that show people eating hamburgers the size of manhole covers and pizza’s the size of the kitchen table! The newest show, which premiered in November, highlights slobs eating the biggest hamburgers and sandwiches anyone has ever seen! The producers certainly aren’t going to go backwards and show people eating tiny little sandwiches, who wants to see that? Maybe they’ll develop a program where little people have to eat the giant burgers! They can call it “Little People, Big Burgers!” that should boost the ratings for another few months! P.T. Barnum would have loved to be alive in this era. American television has become a circus side show! I just wish someone in Hollywood would have an original thought or idea once in a while. They constantly revamp the same old ideas, or even just re-create old shows and movies like, “The Karate Kid” or “Land of the Lost.” The remakes are never even as good as the originals! How many hungry and homeless people could be fed with the money it costs to make one of these piece of crap movies? Couldn’t we live without a remake of “Gilligan’s Island,” (trust me, it’s coming) especially if the money could be used to feed the poor and homeless? There are at least 10 movies that came out this year alone that nobody would miss for one minute. And now every movie seems to be made in 3D, so that everyone runs out and buys the DVD’s that they can watch on their new 3D televisions. (Personally, I would hold off on the 3D television because once they sell a shitload of them, they will introduce the new and improved model that doesn’t require the viewers to wear stupid glasses in their own home just to enjoy the thing.
I know my words are a bit harsh but all I’m really saying is to think twice before you spend your hard earned money. How many people went out and bought all their favorite movies on VHS tape? Just so they would have the ultimate video collection. Where are those VHS tapes now? In a box in the attic, or basement, right? I don’t have the heart to say anything about the poor suckers who bought them on Beta (oops!). Now we all re-buy the same crap movies on DVD when it’s obvious that they will all be replaced with downloads very soon. Many clever people are already downloading them right now, and for free! If you have the ability to do that, go ahead, while you still can! We live in a unique time; the technology is moving so fast that industry can’t keep up with it. It won’t take long for the powers that be to figure out a way to prevent people from downloading video and music completely. My guess is that they will slowly phase out desktop computers (and all of the accessories) and they will be replaced by your cell phone. Your cell phone will then connect to your home entertainment system similar to an I-Pod. Of course there’s a lot more to it, I’m merely speculating but trust me, it’s coming. Obviously the technology is already here, it’s just a matter of time before it evolves and industry finally grabs control of it.

One thing I must say is that when it comes to music and artistic expression, I support the artist’s right to protect their work. The difference is that when an artist (not mainstream Hollywood) makes a song or indie film, many of them want their message to get out to the public. Sure, it’s nice if they can get paid every time someone looks at, or listens to their work, but it’s not always the artist’s main goal to get rich off of it. It’s usually all the leaches that want to get rich off of the artist! Recently the semi-popular jam band, Phish, started making a free copy of a live show available to anyone who went to the concert. Sure, most Phish heads know how to find a free copy of it on-line anyway, even if they didn’t buy a ticket to the show, but it’s nice that people have the opportunity to get a great sounding, professionally recorded copy of the show that they went to. Industry tries to control mainstream products so tightly that it becomes a crime for you to obtain it in any other way than paying top dollar to own it. I know not everyone will agree with me but I feel that there are enough people willing to pay top dollar to have the premium quality, nice packaging and liner notes, that come with a store bought item, so if someone wants to download an inferior version of it, so be it. Who is it really hurting?

Thanks for reading…

1. The phrase "Big Mother" was taken from the recent Roger Waters, The Wall concerts. He did a parody on the phrase "Big Brother" during the projections.

2. The info regarding the free Phish downloads for concert goers was taken from "PHISHBILL" 10/31/10.